It’s not the way you look at me, or the words you say.
It’s not your appearance or how many assets you have.
It’s the way you see life, and the way you smile beyond this corrupted world.
It’s when you touch my shoulder, and the sound of your voice makes me tremble.
My very first cinematography reel. I still have a lot to learn, I’m excited for future projects.
As the time to say goodbye comes closer and closer, I realized something:
I want to hold on.
I want to pause time and enjoy the company, the surrounding, the good.
I’ve been so focused on what made me unhappy, on my worries that now are gone because of my future absence. Leaving opened my eyes to the beautiful, the simple.
Cats on the moon, they’re looking out for you.
I want to hold on, never let go the amazing people I met.
Unfortunately distance will do its thing, and these will be memories I will keep in my heart.
Sometimes things get overwhelming.
I’ve seen it happen over and over again, it’s like my life became a cycle, a very predictable one.
It seems as I want to make it known that I’m not ok, that I’m tired of pretending or tired of fighting my battles, so I make sure people know.
And when I’m around that energy- which I bring- I want to talk about it and express my anger towards not having control.
I forget that I need to step back in solitude, take a deep breath and tell myself that I’m not in control and that’s great. That I’m a river that’s is flowing into the ocean, I’m part of something bigger than I could ever imagine.
Well I disappeared for two days, in solitude I’ve been with my demons and I looked them in the eye, I’m the only one who can do so.
I know I can’t rely on people, I have to appreciate their time and the moments I spend with them, but they’re not reliable.
The only constant thing in life is change.
Have I not been through enough to understand this? I need to embrace it. To embrace change.
fingersonmyhands asked: recently stumbled upon your music and your pictures and life has been a little happier since. love it
Really appreciate it!
just chorus of a song for tumblr.
aman245 asked: I feel like you're the kind of person who I could talk endlessly with about the simplest of life's necessities, and never become tired of what the other person has to say. Just saying :)
I finally saw Into The Wild.
It’s my mind in a film.
My heart races just thinking about it, everything about this movie (story, emotion and character rather than technical) feels like the necessary breath of fresh air some of us are eager to attain.
I’ve realized, for some time now, that the only moment I find myself really happy is in nature. It grounds me, brings me back to who I really am.
It hurts living like this, hurts. We live in this dream where money, power, career, status all rule this illusionary world. We hurt each other constantly and we’re all depressed.
"You don’t need human relationships to be happy, God has placed it all around us."
Then we live by judgements, expectations, and norms society has put us through. How are we supposed to breathe? How am I supposed to understand myself at all?
"The sea’s only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now I don’t know much about the sea, but I do know that that’s the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind deaf stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head."
I have my own secluded place, it’s where I go in my mind when I feel the pressure of this world weighting on my shoulders. It works for a while, the sound of the imaginary waves calm me down for an instant. But I become sad when I realize I’m still here.
I’ve thought about abandoning everything, and just going somewhere no one knows me, go live by the beach or on a secluded house near tall trees and magnificent mountains— Not sure if I would do just like Christopher did, but I would love to disappear and throw the norms away.
I only hope one day I can gather the courage needed to do so.
I know I need this, to get away, to find myself, because then we can deal with the circumstances we had to grow up in. Unfortunately, Chris didn’t make it to that part, but he was finally ready.
It is important to know yourself, before everything that has to be dealt with. How do we do that in this society? There are so many voices, brands, commercials, labels screaming at us, we can barely listen to what we’re supposed to. And I believe nature allows the right voice to be heard.
"What if I were smiling and running into your arms? Would you see then what I see now?"
"Some people feel like they don’t deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past."